I get enamored with beauty and there is a certain level of level headedness that comes with being married and that is the reason why I appreciate a lot more in the surroundings that I am in. Given the teens and my twenties it was not so much about being in a relationship but forming a bond with a girl to get a better understanding of what it entails and somehow the angst, anger, rebelliousness and an escapist attitude prevented me from forming a closer linkage. No regrets and nor am I trying to find excuses but a lot had to with what my parents brought me up with. The arguments were never ending, divergent career paths that left little time for the kids, extremely biased against families(My mother’s side are mostly shopkeepers whereas my father’s is a lot more educated and well off) which is why there was a constant fight for identity and something that prevented me from wholeheartedly devoting time and space in a relationship which continues till today and that is what I’ve shared with my wife from day one. I never forget to mention to her that a divorce is a possibility or could be an eventuality given the circumstances for the betterment of my son and I admit that I would have to give up my son if there was a separation. I gave a suggestion to my mom when I was 11 and it was right after my parents had a physical fight that she should seek a divorce rather than continuing in an abusive relationship but she politely refused which is the bane of society at large in the Indian sub continent. Women of all ages put up with so much and have to endure physical and emotional stress because of what comes with being a lady. I will not shirk to admit that I stalked or indulged in leching when I found it convenient or had to while away time. I shared this with mom and she was aghast given where I come from. One of my friends gave a cat call or started hooting in his balcony in front of his mom which are some of the crude examples that I can quote. This is not to say that I have been hit by lightning or have a changed perception as a man fighting for women’s rights. When my wife was expecting, in my heart of hearts, I always wanted a girl child but destiny and lord almighty had other plans and took me a couple of days to accept it. But I shudder to think what could have happened had it really turned up a girl because of what she might have had to go through growing up. Not to mention my blood pressure going off the charts while I played the protective father. The reason for writing this is that hope you can be better informed and make better choices in terms of the conduct and I keep my fingers crossed that when my dad returns from the Golden Temple in Amritsar and my mom from her maternal home, I hope they don’t crank it up a notch.